Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
