He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
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