How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
