just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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