My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
