I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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