he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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