im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
