i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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