I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
