I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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