I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
