I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
