it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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