ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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