There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
