Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
