drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
