Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
