kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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