Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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