I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
