We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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