I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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