We're facebook friends in real life
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
