Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize