He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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