ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
