Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
