I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
