Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
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They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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