Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
