I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
