at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
