it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
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Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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