Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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