i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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