I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
