doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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