Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
