i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
