You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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