hotel room ftw
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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