My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
