he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
