if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
