hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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