I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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