I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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