Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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