I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize