am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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