That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
