If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
