i think my mom watched the whole time
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
