i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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