One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
