If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
