can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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