If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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